A severe telling off!

Roy Carter
3 min readOct 21, 2022

(Plus…What if you only work on days that you choose to work?)

This morning I went to see the doctor, to get my prescriptions (or scripts as they call them here in Australia) renewed.

Expected to just be in and out and on my way.


Instead I was treated to a bloody good bollocking, (that’s English for a severe telling off)!

Listen Roy’, she said, ‘You’ve got high cholesterol, high Triglycerides (which means your blood is thicker), and high blood pressure’.

‘Right’, I said, ‘but I’m taking pills for those.’

Ignoring me, she continued, ‘And on top of that Roy, you are carrying far too much weight around your belly’.

I opened my mouth to reply, but she jumped straight down my throat so I couldn’t.

How much alcohol do you drink?

(Oh shit).

‘Erm, well..I erm..’

Come on. Spit it out. How much?

‘Well, I usually have a couple of beers on the balcony and watch the sun set. Then, I’ll have a glass of wine with dinner.’

And?’, she said, knowing that I wanted to stop telling her any more and just run out of the room.

‘Well, then I’ll usually have a few glasses of wine while watching TV over the course of the evening.’

And how often do you do that?

‘Erm, well, every night, I suppose.’


‘Well, yeah. Unless we have guests around and then it might be a bit more.’

And there you are then’, she said. ‘That’s your problem. You are drinking way too much and putting on too much weight as a result.

Well, I thought, at least she didn’t ask me about excercise. Let’s just get this over and get out of here.

How much excercise do you do?

Shit! Shit! Shit!

‘Well, I used to do a reasonable amount. Even had a personal trainer for a while.’

Ok, so when was that?

‘Erm, before the Covid thing I suppose’.



Roy Carter

Founder of www.LettersFromASmallisland.com monthly newsletter sent from my home on Magnetic Island — ‘A Quaint Little Drinking Island With A Fishing Problem! ‘